your room smells of hookers.
And success
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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