some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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