i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
either way he was missing a nipple.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
