I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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