By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
