hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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