I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
