I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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