I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
