smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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