drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
A+ Viking dick
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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