walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
