Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize