operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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