barbara walters just said penis...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
