Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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