I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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