Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
