I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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