Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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