angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
