I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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