making cat noises will not fix the situation.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
