He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
