She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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