Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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