That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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