I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize