I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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