Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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