you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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