He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dicks are not precious.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
