he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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