Sober January is a disaster.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
