it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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