Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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