This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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