hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize