i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
