if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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