I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
