Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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