Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i out mim tonsoeep
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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