google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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