I faked an abortion last night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize