Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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