yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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