I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
