He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
