She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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