I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i drank out of a bidet.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
