Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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