just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im six kinds of drunk right now
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
